Finding the RIGHT Place to Live

A lot can happen in the space of 24 hours. I’m flat-hunting at the moment, and I’ve already experienced the crashing highs and lows of trying to find somewhere that’s entirely suitable.

I spent my Sunday deep in thought after a tour of a flat that, whilst perfectly pleasant, didn’t quite feel like the one. Knowing when a property is going to be right for you is a hard balance, and I hadn’t seen that many on offer. So, after that initial flat exploration, I realised that I’d rather set my sights on that flat more than I had told myself I should.

I knew, logically, that there wasn’t going to be a set time frame in mind, but emotionally that’s difficult to rationalise. I’d set myself a target in my head of moving by the end of January, primarily because that was going to mark the one year point from when I came to live with my parents. My goal for one year wasn’t because I can’t bear living with them – they’ve been nothing but welcoming, utterly pleasant, and giving me as much freedom as I need – but because I’m 36 and feel like I want a space I can call my own. That’s a normal shift for most people, and so I’ve had that goal in my head – and, I’m aware, when I get something in my head, it’s hard to shift. I have a stubborn streak a mile wide.

So Sunday was a difficult day; I’d had a psychological quirk that if I couldn’t get the flat I’d seen on Saturday (the basement flat I’ve talked about in a previous blog), I didn’t know what I was going to do, as I hadn’t been able to find any other flats online that might be suitable.

Well, the flat was okay. That’s all I can say; it was okay. I didn’t feel that was stunning, but it was perfectly pleasant, I thought. In fact, I’ve booked in to take a second look at it this weekend just to check my own views and see if it’s what I remember – it’s funny how our minds play tricks on us sometimes, isn’t it?

And so I was left with a quandary. What do I do now? I felt, I must confess, rather flat; I was struggling to know what to do next, but fortuitously, I have people around me who don’t brook any nonsense when I am in that mindset. My friend Di talked me through options on the Saturday afternoon when she recognised that the funk was settling in, two other friends encouraged me to keep looking, and reminded me that timescales were less important than finding the right place, and my parents took action and found some more properties online that I might be interested in; how they found them when I thought I’d looked everywhere, I do not know, but I must concede that they were entirely right.

Their efforts paid off, naturally, and I have three more viewings this week, plus a second viewing of the basement flat should I need it. I’m pleased that I have such support around me, as everyone has their own quirks, and mine is to get rather introverted and pessimistic when my expectations don’t entirely fit in with reality. Thankfully, I can be reminded by others that things change and move on so quickly that it’s not as bad as we think it might be, and I’m very much remembering that now; so what if it takes me beyond the end of January to find someone? I have somewhere to live, provided by very lovely parents who aren’t pushing me in the slightest, and have nothing but the best in mind for me. I know now that it’s better to find the right place than just go for the first available place because it fits in with my artificially-created timescales.

Now I’ve got that out my system, time to go looking at the next flat!

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